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Moms, Money and Mindset
The discussion about the economic hardship of women is certainly appropriate. Mothers all over the world are looking for ways to better provide for their families financially, whether they are single or married. And now we know for sure that security cannot be achieved by working for others.
We grew up in families that preached “go to school…get a good job”. But now that the economy (job market, credit availability and prices) has changed before our eyes, we need to realize that the time to improve our financial lives is now. Having a good job is not good enough. During these times, those who choose not to consider creative ways to increase their bottom line may be sacrificing how financially comfortable they will be later.
Anyone can start earning extra income this month quite simply and without spending a lot of money. Check out Paulo Deen’s restaurant. She was in a situation where she had to support her two sons and herself: she had to make it happen. With a few dollars and effort, Paula started what would one day become a multi-million dollar business. Although there were many days when she was scared and frustrated, she persevered and achieved amazing things in her business. And to make her story even more inspiring, she started a business after the age of 40.
Paula’s story is indeed encouraging, but it is not entirely unique. She did what many mothers have done, who took their economic viability into their own hands. But what prompted her to take massive action to get this business off the ground? It was all about her mindset.
What separated her and many other successful entrepreneurs from others who feel stuck and unable to move forward was her mindset. Unless a mom decides she needs to do something for herself, she can let her mental blocks get in the way. Economically, many of us struggle against a limited way of thinking.
Our first task is to realize that what we may perceive as real may not be accurate. We often take perceptions as fact. We don’t question why we think the way we do, we just let our thoughts define what we can or can’t do. For example, some of us may often state, “I can’t afford to…”. Is your statement really a fact or your perception?
Maybe you don’t have money at that moment, but does that really mean you can’t afford any item? We should all banish the phrase “I can’t afford…” from our minds, because what we are really saying is that abundance is not flowing in our lives. And if we continue to buy into this belief, it will be harder for us to live in abundance.
Your first task: Think of something you recently wanted and told yourself you couldn’t afford. Think about whether you really wanted this item or whether you commented on it out of habit. If you find yourself saying this out of habit, start by stopping the thought the next time you think it (and NEVER verbalize it). If you decide you really want this item, consider three (3) ways you could afford it. Consider opportunities and solutions that could provide additional streams of income without getting a job.
We mothers can do wonders when our backs are against the wall. We will fight, especially when the welfare of our children is at stake. Many millionaire moms started their journey to wealth when, for whatever reason, they felt they had no choice. In many cases, the route was made from scratch. Any mental blocks they may have had about money fell away when they had to make things happen financially.
But what do you do when you want to make significant financial changes in your life, but you’re not in an emergency and don’t know where to start?
The first thing you need to do is figure out if you really want to make changes or if you’re just talking about having a healthier relationship with money. And make no mistake, the mental blocks we have in accumulating wealth are related to our relationships with money.
When you decide you really want to make a change, you need to look at your views on money from two different perspectives.
The first perspective focuses on your worldviews of wealth. Do any of these beliefs sound familiar?
o There is not enough money in the world.
o Money doesn’t grow on trees.
o The world (or this society) controls how much money I have (or may not have).
o It’s really hard to make money in this economy.
o Fill in the blank with any other secular beliefs you may have about money:______________________
Another perspective focuses on your personal beliefs about your ability to have money. Does any of this work for you?
o I will never be rich.
o I am not worthy to have wealth.
o I’m not smart enough to figure out how to get rich.
o I don’t have enough education to be wealthy.
o Fill in the blank with other personal beliefs you may have about money:______________________
Now that we’ve established our way of thinking about money, it’s time to take steps to develop healthier beliefs.
One of the first things we need to do is realize that our thoughts or beliefs are not necessarily facts. They are just things that we have told ourselves over and over that we can now take as fact. Remember that beliefs are just one way of looking at something.
Let’s do an exercise in analyzing your beliefs:
1. Look at the beliefs you wrote down. Now go through those thoughts and write next to them, “I have a false belief that… (fill in the beliefs you crossed out).
2. Fully identify your misconception and write it down. An example is “I will never be financially comfortable”.
3. Identify the attached meaning behind your false belief, such as “My family always fought = I will always fight”.
4. What would you rather replace your false belief with? (An example would be: “I can be rich”).
5. When do you remember the first time you identified with this false belief? Do you know? (An example would be: “My father always said that money doesn’t grow on trees.”)
6. What is my desired new belief? (“Money flows easily to me.”)
7. Now really imagine what your new belief looks like. What will you look like when you live this new life? How will you act? How will you feel? What will your life be like?
8. What is your new belief?
If, after doing this exercise, you find that you cannot fully accept your new belief, continue with the next exercise.
Focus on wealth
If you keep focusing on what you don’t have, you will continue to struggle until you don’t have it. You need to start focusing on what you want, more wealth and a healthier attitude towards money. Wherever your thoughts go, your actions will follow. If you keep wealth creation at the forefront of your mind, you’ll soon see your actions change, bringing you closer to realizing a wealthier life.
There is an extremely simple way to start focusing on wealth. Start by picking up a wealth building book or reading a biography on a wealthy person. You can find great resources online or at your local library, but some obvious choices are Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill and Rich Dad Poor Dad by Robert Kiyosaki.
Finally, if you feel false beliefs creeping into your mind, press the “pause” button in your mind. This interrupts the thought and prevents it from pulling you further into it. Replace the negative thought with a positive thought about anything else. Do this every time you confront your false beliefs.
The most important thing is to find ways to build wealth by taking massive action on a daily basis to develop income streams. Researching how others have done it will help you tremendously. If you can find a (wealthy) mentor to help you on your way, it will be even better. And even if you can’t, you can always look up to someone who has done something similar, ie. read one of Paula Deen’s books if you want to start a food business.
But don’t just read about how others got rich, ACT ON IT! Let their steps be your steps. Create a plan using what you’ve learned from others. Now is the ideal time to achieve financial success, with so many successful people sharing their paths and information being so readily available.
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