Can You Have A Flower Girl And No Ring Bearer You’re Making Your Wedding List and Checking It Twice-What Have You Forgotten?

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You’re Making Your Wedding List and Checking It Twice-What Have You Forgotten?

Preparing for a wedding, big or small, is awesome! A way to combat this feeling is to break down required tasks, divide responsibilities and set deadlines. Okay, that’s all well and good – but what did you forget?

A wedding is a public affair and everyone fears that somehow, despite all the planning, arrangements, costs and hard work, something will happen that will make one or more of the principles look foolish in public.

Let’s look at the scenario for a moment. It’s a beautiful day and a beautiful wedding. Everything is in its place. The venue of the ceremony is suitably and beautifully decorated, all the main participants play their roles correctly and are dressed appropriately, the groom and his groom have arrived and are in place, and the wedding guests will soon start walking down the aisle.

The music starts and the wedding attendants proceed to the altar. They are nervous, and when they are nervous, people tend to rush and “group”. Companions follow this instinct and are so close together that no one can get a separate picture of each! The organist is trying to keep up with the fact that the accompanists are in place way too early, so he speeds up the music. The bride then begins to proceed to the altar before the music changes; the organist quickly changes the music, which now has the tempo of a rock opera. No one was able to get photos of the bridesmaids. The bride is beautifully dressed, but she is so close to the maid of honor/matron or flower girl that no one can see or photograph her as well – she is also nervous!

As the bride and her attendant pass by, notice that her train, which is probably as beautiful as the rest of her dress, if not more so, is tucked and to one side. Since most ceremonies have the bride and groom standing facing the officiant, you can see her twisted train throughout the ceremony!

After the ceremony, the bride and groom walk back to the altar, followed by the couple’s attendants and parents. Due to the emotions of the moment, some members of the bridal party cried during the ceremony and now it seems that most of the members of the party, including the bride herself, have made themselves look like circus clowns because their mascara is running and their foundations are streaked! The guests wonder if the wedding party looked like this at the beginning of the ceremony, because of course they couldn’t see them very well – they were too close to each other.

Outside, in the middle of the ceremony, it suddenly rains and doesn’t let up. When it comes time to transport the bride, groom and groomsmen to the reception, everyone gets wet and soggy and arrives at the reception unhappy, uncomfortable, wrinkled, soaked and with messy hair. Everything is recorded even on those expensive one-off wedding photos and videotapes!

So how to prevent all this? First, if you don’t have a professional wedding planner, you need an assistant! This should be a close friend or relative who should not be sitting in the reserved seats in front, so they are available to help you arrange the necessary last minute details. Before the ceremony, prepare a kit that includes things like needle and thread in black, white and wedding colors, toothpaste and chalk for any stains that may appear on the wedding dress, aspirin and an extra pair of socks. in a neutral shade, a bottle of water, tissues or tissues, etc.

Your assistant’s first job is to hand out tissues or handkerchiefs – almost every wedding party forgets them. They should be handed out just before the mothers and then the bridal party proceed to the altar. The bride and groom can keep them under their bouquets so they can’t see each other. If you hand them out any time before then, you’ll find that at least one person – more often than not, a few people – will forget to bring theirs – and there’s no room for risk at the wedding ceremony! Tissues will of course serve their purpose – but do you really want the bridal party to be photographed during the ceremony with tissues – possibly torn by a nervous owner? Men’s handkerchiefs will do, but of course pretty lace-trimmed handkerchiefs are even better – just make sure they’re big! You may be able to find reasonably priced lace handkerchiefs locally or online, or you can always buy men’s linen handkerchiefs and sew the lace on by hand – it doesn’t take that long.

Another job of your assistant is to space your companions as they walk to the altar. When the organist (who used the unrolling of the aisle runner and the placement of the groomsmen as a cue) begins the procession music, have your maid of honor stand to the side of the lined bridesmaids, using the door as a shield to keep her from being seen by your guests. While appropriate spacing is a matter of discretion, a good rule of thumb is that the next bridesmaid should not proceed down the aisle until the bridesmaid in front of her is AT LEAST 1/2 way up the aisle in a medium-sized church or hall. If the church is the size of a cathedral (as in The Sound of Music), it could be 1/3 as long. Remember – they can’t start without you!

The maid of honor/matron should not start until the last bridesmaid is in place, and the flower girl and ring bearer should not start up the aisle until the maid of honor/matron is in place, regardless of the size of the church. In other words, there needs to be a little more space between these two members of the wedding party.

The bride should wait for the first few bars of the bridal music to play. The organist waits for the ring bearer and flower girl to set up or sit down to change the music; take her time! Remember again: it won’t start without you! Your assistant is there to calm you and your entourage, wait for the music, make sure the bride is on your left, and slow you both down if necessary.

When the last bridesmaid or flower girl/ring bearer has “stepped down” and is on the way to the altar, your assistant should slip back behind the bride and her entourage, taking care not to be seen. At the very first step taken by the bride and her attendant, the assistant must lift the train at least a meter, but not more than two meters from the ground, and “turn” it. This action is similar to smoothing the sheets on the bed. The “flip” will ensure that the train rides on the air curtain and stays properly unfolded while the bride walks.

Next, how to deal with a sudden downpour. As part of your preparations, the bride should provide enough umbrellas (three are enough) for the bridal couple and bridal party. Some limo services also have umbrellas, but if they do, they usually only have one, and you should at least consider your bridesmaids. If you find that you have too many, the couple’s parents and relatives would also appreciate them! While any colored umbrella will do, white umbrellas would be lovely. Consider buying a large golf-sized umbrella for the bride and groom, and collapsible umbrellas are great for your bridal party and parents. Your assistant should have umbrellas at the back of the hall or church near the door and should be ready to distribute them after the ceremony.

Make sure you give your assistant umbrellas and your emergency kit a day or two before the wedding and make sure she knows what her role will be. A good friend is priceless! Remember that he is doing you a favor. It would be a nice gesture – and one that will be remembered – to personally give her a special and thoughtful gift at the reception and say thank you. You can leave the gift in your parents’ car before the wedding day, or perhaps in the wedding party’s car.

Paying attention to these small but important details can help ensure memorable images and a worry-free wedding day!

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